Maintaining Your Relationship during Pregnancy

Worried That Your Husband Might Cheat During Your Pregnancy?

Fret Not..Your Relationship Can Emerge Stronger During Your Pregnancy.

Asians have couple of weird perceptions, one of which is that a woman's pregnancy usually put a toll on the relationship or drive partners to "cheat" outside. I would quite proudly say that my pregnancy had brought my husband and I closer and more intimate than ever. It has helped to reinforce the relationship and allowed us to 'synchronise' as a team.

 I suspect that a lot of people tend to forget that even during pregnancy, couples need to bond and the relationship needs to continue being nourished. For most pregnant women, especially for those who suffer severe pregnancy symptoms like myself, will find a dip in your libido and also discomfort with certain intimacy. That is perfectly normal and will fluctuate along the pregnancy. The physical aspect of the relationship is nevertheless important but the emotional aspect is the ultimate elixir.

The first trimester of my pregnancy was horrible; I merlioned(puked) out everything after each meal and I think I've marked territories with my vomit almost everywhere in Singapore. I felt queasy almost all the time and definitely had no desire to kiss my husband as frequent as I would like to. The furthest I could go was a peck on the lip/cheeks. We still tried maintained a healthy sex routine every week but it was definitely incomparable to the pre-pregnancy times. Thank goodness my husband was understanding and been extremely supportive during that period of time, it really eased a lot of my fears and insecurities. Frankly pregnancy scared me, especially when I see my body changing everyday and feel overwhelmed with fears of the unknown which is to come.

However during this period of time, even when I don't feel like talking or chatting, I tried to make an effort to communicate with my husband daily. Of course while I am feeling nauseated, I am really not too interested to hear the nitty gritty of the various meetings, colleagues, lunch that he shared. But well, I forced myself to listen and know what was going on.

On the other hand, my husband tried to be accommodating whenever my bipolar sister, the psychotic hippo, possessed me. As soon as I got better, we find different activities to do together every weekend. I know there's limitations to what one can do in Singapore but the idea is to be creative. We also went for our honey cum babymoon. And right now, we are both counting down to the my due date which is in couple of weeks :)

In a summary, here are 3 tips (which really works for me) to keep your relationship flourishing:

1. Communication is still the key. 
Make an effort to put your discomforts aside and place your attention to your partner. Try not to scream at him even when you are upset as he will probably blame it on your pregger's hormones and think you are being irrational.  Take some moments away from each other and tell him nicely(it's okay to end up sobbing while speaking) why you are unhappy.

2. Remain physical and lovely-dovey. 
If you don't feel like making out or having sex, at least cuddle, hug, shower little kisses on each other. Say mushy stuff to each other and be generous with compliments (for e.g: You are the best hubby, sweetest honeypie in the world..)

3. Stay active and attractive. 
You are pregnant, not handicapped. Continue to have a life like going out with your friends, engaging in your pregger friendly hobbies, dolling up yourself when you go out. This will give outsiders the impression that you are having the "pregnancy glow"(even if you don't feel so) and your hubby/partner will continue to adore you. You will also feel better about yourself when you are active.

Below are some pregger-friendly ideas of activities/things you can do as couple: 

1. Gather other couples and pick unique cafes/restaurants to check out together.
2. Go down to East Coast park, have a nice dinner and take a stroll along the beach.
3. Take a cable car ride from Mount Faber to Sentosa.
4. Visit an animal farm at Pasir Ris Farmway.
5. Treat yourselves to the premium cinema suite.
6. Place a pinic/yoga mat in the balcony and lay there looking at stars or talk about your childhood dreams.
7. Go to a famous random place where the both of you never been before. (For e.g: Tiong Bahru Hawker Centre/ Joo Chiat/ etc)
8. Grocery shopping at the wet market. (You'll be surprised how much fresher the produce are)
9. Scrapbooking together. (Document all your ultra sound pics of baby, receipts of baby stuff, etc)
10. A day trip in Johor. (Check out some quaint cafes and have fabulous wanton noodles or seafood)

Fellow readers out there, do feel free to share what has worked for you via the comment box! :)